Showing posts with label pissed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pissed. Show all posts

Thursday, September 16, 2010

It's Like Everything You Buy

This ad says it all about the junk we spend good money on and what we really get.


 

    Everything you buy these days is junk.  Nothing delivers on its promise.  Cheesy materials, unfathomable instructions,planned obsolescence and idiotic design are not what we paid for but  that's what we get.  Well, you tell yourself, I'll spend a little extra to get more quality,but do you? No. You just end up with more expensive junk. 
    I bought a gas can at Home Depot a couple of weeks ago.  I could not for the life of me figure out how this thing works; a friggin' GAS CAN. It has a green twisty device on the neck that is on lock or unlock but what it locks I have no idea.  But the best part is, the lower end of the neck has a pinhole for the gas to go through, locked or unlocked. I showed it to two salty old dudes who have been around and they were clueless also. I got a funnel and pour the gas out the large hole and forget about the neck piece.
    What is really grinding my stones is this: I totally renovated the house I live in to bring it into the 21st century.  In the process I decided to go with a Corian countertop in the kitchen with the sink all moulded into the counter.  Very sharp looking.  Corian is supposed to be the Cadillac of counter materials and as such carries a hefty pricetag.  Well yesterday as I was wiping down the sink I noticed what I thought to be a hair in the corner of the sink.  It wasn't; it was a crack.  A CRACK in this miracle material after two years of light usage.  It carries a ten year warranty but still how does something like this happen?  If I had opted for a plain old stainless steel sink it wouldn't have happened.  Now we will see if duPont honors their warranty or jerks me around.  Stay tuned and caveat emptor. 

Letter to the Editor (Secret Ingredient Revealed)

Dear Creepyolderguy,
    I don't think it's fair for you to tease us with this so called awesome pasta sauce recipe and then withhold the "secret ingredient" from us.  What kind of person does that?  You're just like every other man.
Signed,
Pissed in Peoria

Dear Pissed,
Yikes!  I did not mean to aggravate you by holding back my secret ingredient so without further delay I'll give it to you now.  You must be careful about telling loved ones what it is, as it is my experience that most people turn up their nose at the idea of ingesting this stuff.  It will give your sauce a depth you never could of imagined.  The envelope please... it is ANCHOVY PASTE.  Yes that's right squeeze one inch of anchovy paste into the onions as they are sauteing, stir it good and it will dissolve in the oil with no one the wiser.  Anchovy paste comes in a tube and can be found at grocers everywhere in the canned fish section.  Mangia!!
PS:  I'd be pissed in Peoria too.  The recipe is here.